- Hugh Waring Maw
2 June 1920 - 11 March 2018
Hugh Maw was a birthright Friend, who was associated with our meeting at Stourbridge for over fifty years. He served the meeting in many different ways, as well as being very active at area meeting and yearly meeting levels. He was born in India to Quaker missionary parents and spent the first eight years of his life there. He recalled Mahatma Gandhi sometimes joining the family worship, sitting peacefully at the back spinning.
Another memory he would tell ruefully was the only time his father administered corporal punishment. A man-eating tiger had been seen in the area where they lived and, aged about seven, he crept out, determined to see it. This had been strictly forbidden by his parents. Luckily, he did not encounter the tiger!
He travelled back to England when he was eight to go to The Downs School and then Leighton Park, which is where his love of sports developed. He played hockey, rugby, loved gymnastics and became an outstanding cricketer. He readily admitted he had been very competitive.
He loved to recall the times when, during his undergraduate years at Bristol University, he danced in the chorus of Swan Lake with the International Ballet, with the professional dancers whispering instructions in his ear. Years later an elderly member of his meeting boasted that she had been in the audience and seen him!
For his postgraduate teaching practice, he went to Sidcot School, where his mother was Matron and where Daphne Southall, his future wife, was a pupil. She loved to tell how their friendship started following an incident when Hugh returned a piece of homework on which he had written [in red!] "7 out of 10. Not good enough. See me". They eventually married. Daphne had a cousin in the same class who recalled how all the girls had fancied this handsome young man and were very jealous of her!
Hugh registered as a conscientious objector in 1939 and, after a gruelling tribunal, received an unconditional exemption from military service, so he could continue his studies and train to be a teacher. His brother also wrestled with his conscience and felt he had to join the Army, Hugh said they had to listen to each other and learn to respect their different choices. After his time at Sidcot School, where it was said he was no soft touch on the discipline front, he moved in 1945 to work as assistant Physical Education (PE) instructor at Bournville Day Continuation School, combined with being a Youth Worker at the Cadbury's chocolate factory. While he loved the work, he became increasingly aware of the horrors of the war and felt he was being led to volunteer with the Friends Relief Service (FRS). He wrote, "I was under concern. My Meeting has listened and tested my concern". So he underwent six months' training, including learning to drive big trucks, before going to Berlin for a year followed by six months in Cologne. Towards the end of his life Hugh revisited the diaries he kept at the time and published them as a fascinating book in 2014, called The Training and Experience of a Quaker Relief Worker. He did wonder whether he had become desensitised to the horrors of war and the terrible conditions they found in post-war Germany. He wrote: "We had decided however that the present suffering is a bottomless pit… [and] we could not do it all". He did manage to go to many concerts, ballets and operas and the team held meeting for worship whenever they could. Both these kept them nourished and strengthened to cope with the horrors. He and his fellow workers had lots of, as he put it, riotous fun, but could make the transition into deep worship.
It is clear from his diary that his faith sustained him and was very profound. He was often asked to give a talk about his faith. In a Christmas broadcast he made, just before he returned to England, he said, "The profound need of our time is to realise the everlasting truth of the common Fatherhood of God, the Spirit of love and the oneness of the human race."
In 1949 he married Daphne at last. They had 3 children and eventually 4 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. Both Hugh and Daphne were from long established Quaker families. After teaching at several types of school, including one for juvenile delinquents, in 1956 Hugh was appointed Headmaster of Sibford School. He set about transforming the school in accordance with his own Quaker beliefs. Earlier in his career he had been made to beat a pupil and he vowed never to do this again. He believed strongly in educating the whole person, so art, music and sports were given as much importance as academic subjects. At his funeral a former pupil recalled their astonishment when Hugh, as Headmaster, visited their gym class one day and suddenly leapt in the air, did a full somersault and landed back on his feet. To the end of his life he and Daphne continued to support Sidcot and Sibford Schools. After six years at Sibford School, he felt it was time for a new challenge and for the last thirteen years of his career he moved into teacher training. His work included setting up a course in health education for mature students.
Alongside this he was involved in youth and marriage guidance counselling. Hugh and Daphne shared a love of birdwatching, gardening, walking and music, singing together in a choir for many years and both playing the violin. In 1978 Hugh took early retirement and was able to devote much of the rest of his life to serving the Religious Society of Friends at local, area and national levels in many roles. He had a special interest in the Middle East and he and Daphne joined David Gray, who led many Woodbrooke Study Tours to the Holy Land. These two-week tours were thoroughly prepared in study weekends at Woodbrooke. Those who came on them learnt so much, were wonderfully cared for and met amazing people in each community who, sometimes at risk to their lives, were working for peace between the Israelis and Palestinians.
Hugh had a great sense of humour. Once, on one of the Tours of the Holy land, he alerted David Gray, a fellow lover of birdwatching, to "the Greater Spotted Hoodwink" visible from the bus window! Another time, at the Christmas Party, though he seldom touched alcohol, he gave a very funny performance of a poem (supposedly by a drunkard) in which, in each verse he became more and more slurred, so that he really seemed quite drunk by the end.
He would sometimes be invited to talk to pupils in local schools. One class had been studying Vera Brittain's Testament Of Youth, and were very impressed to hear that Hugh had known her and that she had influenced his decision to become a conscientious objector, after he had been corresponding with her leading up to his tribunal. All his life he was a prolific letter-writer. Every Sunday he was in his seat, deeply centred, at least fifteen minutes before the scheduled time of the start of Worship, so that people came into a gathered stillness. His vocal ministry was moving and deeply spiritual and he was always 'open to new Light'.
Hugh will be remembered in Stourbridge Meeting for his faithful attendance at business meetings, his commitment to the right holding of them and for his conscientiousness about any task he undertook. He always took time to welcome and talk to visitors to the meeting especially those coming for the first time. One person said, "his sparkling eyes, and flow of stories enthralled me to the Quaker way of 'living adventurously'. His welcome was gentle, encouraging and reflective. What a gift to have known him."
Signed on behalf of Central England Area
Meeting
Held at Edgbaston on 19 January 2019
Alison Ironside, Clerk
Source: https://quaker-prod.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/store/0f6f93312b40ccc2363527d567f648cc5b499b43945f447f9c5ce375651b
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1920 - 2018 (97 years)
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